Reviewing
by ohhthatgirl
Summary: An afternoon spent with Naruto at the mall can only be excruciating for Uchiha Sasuke. "Since you're being so nice, teme, I'll be nice, too! I'll help you get a girl!" This could be fun... not. sasusaku. AU.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto..._

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Reviewing

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Why was he sitting in the food court on a Friday afternoon when he could have been doing something useful – like studying for Kakashi's "pop quiz? Right, that blonde moron he calls his best friend dragged him to the mall. Now their table was attracting the stares of most the female population. This was great, absolutely _perfect._

Idly, the raven-haired boy swept his bangs away from his handsome face.

"Teme, you should have seen how many flavors of ramen they had! It was heaven! Kami-sama loves me, I tell you! Anyway, the best kind was definitely the-. Oi! You're listening, right?"

"Hn," the boy narrowed his eyes as the blonde continued to converse about_ ramen_, of all things. Desperate times call for desperate measures. He drew two pieces of paper from the pocket of his jeans.

"Dobe, if you shut up, I'll take you to the All Time Low concert later tonight." He waved the tickets in front of his companion's face.

Cerulean eyes widened at the prospect. "Are you serious, teme!? How'd you get these tickets!? They're supposed to have been sold out _months_ ago! You'd really take me!?"

"If you just shut up, I will…" He muttered with the hint of aggravation in his voice.

"Ne, ne, teme, I have a brilliant idea! Since you're being so nice, I'll be nice, too! I'm going to help you get a girl!"

The usually graceful teen almost fell out of his chair at that statement. "What was that, dobe?"

"I'll help you get a girl, teme! It's a brilliant idea! I mean, some of the guys aren't sure if you're straight or not. If we had girls waiting in our garden to be picked, we'd be… very _active_, if you get what I mean…" He wriggled a brow suggestively.

That earned him a sharp slap to the back of the head. "Stop reading those hentai books; you're becoming a bigger pervert than Kakashi. I _am _straight, dobe. What the hell are you talking about? _Garden_?"

"Teme, that hurts! And yes, garden. They're just waiting for you to take notice of them, and nurture them into beautiful flowers! Wait… or is it sitting ducks…? Don't you dare make fun of my analogy; I've been working on them!" The blonde rubbed his sore scalp gingerly while scowling. "I'll still help you, though…"

"I already told you, I don't need-."

"You reject every girl that asks you out! That means you're either gay, which you deny, or you're just emotionally constipated!"

"I don't date fan girls, dobe."

"That's right, teme. You're looking for a girl with more than just a pretty face. You want something deeper!" He chortled at the thought of his broody companion with a girl that fit the description. "What do you think about that one?"

His finger aimed at a girl walking out of Victoria's Secret. Her hair was a deep shade of maroon, and fashioned in an odd style; long and smooth on one side, and short and choppy on the other. Her eyes of the same color were framed by thick glasses. Her attire was… attention-grabbing, to be blunt. She wore a low-cut, long-sleeved, tan shirt that split in two around her navel. The shorts were most definitely living up to their name – barely covering her backside. Boots that reached mid-thigh did nothing to flatter her less than toned legs.

The onyx-eyed boy almost gagged when the girl noticed him looking at her and pulled her shirt a little lower to give him a clearer view of her cleavage. "I don't dig sluts, dobe." His tone was dangerously low.

"Okay, okay! I was just testing you! Um, what about her?"

This time it was a long-haired blonde. Her deep purple dress hugged a rather large bust. Her excited, bubbly voice carried across the entire room and she waved her arms around as she spoke to another blonde.

"She reminds me out you. A dumb, loud-mouthed blonde."

"That's not nice, you bastard! I do not behave like that chick!" He pouted like a child. "Fine then, Mr. Difficult, what about… her?"

A sandy-brunette giggled lightly at the attention of the Uchiha. Her blushing face still had the traces of baby fat around the cheeks. She would classify as cute – easily – however, not mature enough to be pretty. The dark-haired teen rolled his eyes.

"Dobe, there's a guy with her. You're trying to get me killed, aren't you?" Indeed, there was a bored-looking red-haired boy following the girl while carrying a handful of shopping bags.

"Oh…" the blonde's eyes lit up once more. "I think I've found the girl for you!" The heads of the boys turned to a person with waist-length black hair. "I mean, she's pretty! That outfit is good for her. I mean, she doesn't have anything to brag about up top, but that ass is _fine_!"

The dark-haired boy almost burst out laughing. "That's Haku, you moron. _He_ goes to Oto High."

"W-What!? I-I never meant that s-stuff!" The blonde shook his head vigorously. "Ew, ew, ew! That's disgusting! Why didn't you tell me that earlier, teme!?"

"I thought you'd remember… He plays on Oto's varsity soccer team…" The boy snorted. "Tell me again, who's the gay one?"

"Shut up, teme! It's not funny! I think I need to wash my mouth out, or cut off my tongue… I blame _you_, teme!"

"You're such a dobe, dobe…"

The next half hour was spent by the hyper-active blonde pointing out different girls, and the dark-haired boy refusing to even spare them a second glace. Around five o'clock, something made the blonde stop talking about a bun-haired girl.

Noticing the uncharacteristic silence of his best friend, the Uchiha waved his hand in front of the blue-eyed teen.

"Teme… I-I think I've died and gone to heaven."

"Why's that, dobe?"

"Look. At. That."

The dark-haired boy followed his friend's gaze to a girl – no, _goddess_ – with shoulder-length pink hair. She was probably around a head shorter than the Uchiha. Her small body seemed exactly right for him. She wore a blood-red Chinese-style shirt, accenting a decent sized bust. Her slim legs were clad in black jeans with a black and silver studded belt around her hips.

Did they just turn up the thermostat? They boy suddenly felt too warm, and if he didn't get the image of her out of his head, he'd be having a major _problem_ very soon.

"Do you think I should go talk to her? I mean, she's smokin'! Do you think she'd go out with me!?" His tone was beyond eager.

"Bet she's already taken, dobe. That looks like a guy's belt."

The blonde raised an incredulous brow. "Teme, I don't see a guy with her. I mean, if I was her man, I wouldn't let her go to the mall alone! Think of how many other guys would try to get her number!"

"Tch, you mean, guys like _you_?"

"Whatever, teme… You know what? I'll go talk to her! Just wait and see, I'll score a hottie, and you'll be all alone!"

"I thought you were trying to find _me_ a girl, dobe?" The Uchiha smirked as his friend rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Well, my friend, all's fair in love and war!" With that, he sprinted off to where the pink-haired beauty sat down with a raven-haired girl. Three pairs of eyes focused on the blonde.

"Uzumaki Naruto at your service!" His cheery voice boomed across the crowded room.

The rosette giggled at his antics, and shook his out-stretched hand. The raven-haired male smirked when stunning emerald orbs flashed to his face. They maintained eye contact until the blonde caught her attention again.

The two talked for a few minutes. During this period, the Uchiha never took his eyes off the girl. Finally, the two girls rose and followed the blonde towards the area he had originally been at. When they stood next to the table, white eyes widened in surprise.

"Y-You're…" her gaze darted between her friend and the bored boy.

"Hey, Sasuke," The pink-haired girl winked and grinned broadly.

"Sakura," He greeted with a smirk.

"Wait… how do you two know each other!?" The azure-eyed boy asked his best friend incredulously.

"Hn," The boy stood up and wrapped his arm possessively around the girl's skinny waist from behind. "I told you she was already taken, dobe." To the girl in his arms, he whispered, "I knew you liked my belt."

The blonde's jaw dropped. "W-What!? But… teme and Sakura-chan are… dating!? Why didn't you tell me you had such a hot girlfriend!?"

The mentioned girl giggled and turned her head back to look at her boyfriend. "Yeah, Sasuke, why didn't you?"

"Hn, you're annoying, Sakura." The couple seemed oblivious to the two gawking teens by their side.

"I've got tickets to the All Time Low concert tonight."

Emerald orbs lit up with delight. She promptly snatched the piece of paper out of the dark-haired boy's hand. "I'm so there!" She smiled adorably.

"Come on, Hinata! Let's go!" Giving the Uchiha a soft peck on the lips, she pulled out of his embrace. The girls quickly scurried towards another store, leaving the guys alone once again.

"Oi, teme!" the blonde's tone was indignant. "That ticket was supposed to be for me!"

The dark-haired boy merely smirked at the retreating back of the pink-haired beauty. "You're such a dobe, dobe…"

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_Just a random idea that popped into my head one morning that demanded to be written down. I personally think that "Petals" out-shines this, but that's just my opinion... Sorry about the Karin part, I just really don't like her... a lot._

_I didn't want to offend anyone with the "gay" part, but that's just how I picture one of Sasuke and Naruto's conversations to go... So, sorry if I offended someone out there..._

_Please read the "Very Important" part of my profile. I can't keep writing chapters for "Breach" unless I get some ideas out there, so, yeah. I'd be really thankful._

_Reviews are lovely as always. I'll be glad to answer any questions._

_xo, Katie_


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